Imagine that you are a child, and you are born into a family that does not make jokes. No humor allowed; if you hint at it, you are gawked at, punished, or belittled. Adults and peers alike push this idea, with bullies finding you weird or weak if they find you laughing. So you learn to bury your sense of humor. You do all that you can to not find humor in the little things or the big things; sometimes, when you’re confident you’re all alone, you let yourself laugh a little. Maybe you watch comedies on TV and wonder what it would be like to laugh like they did, but you quickly burrow those thoughts away and move on. But then you graduate from school and enter the adult world, and suddenly your adult friends are sharing jokes with you. You meet a romantic partner and all they want to do with you is laugh. You have a child, and you’re dying to just fall to the ground in giggles with them. But you’re reminded, yet again, that laughter is weak. So you don’t. You put up your walls, you refuse to engage with anyone that is laughing, because you don’t know how and you’re scared of what would happen if you did. Even as all those around you beg and beg for you to feel safe to laugh with them, you just can’t allow yourself to. And it hurts so deeply. Learn More...